I love how this reminds me of an Ipod poster. |
There are lots of ways to strengthen a sentence. Adding sharper details, changing the punctuation, reordering the structure... I like to go for the simple approach: modifying the verb.
Using common verbs lends the manuscript to sound a little bland. Use robust verbs to help the reader feel more like a participant in the scene.
Walked – ambled, sauntered, lumber, strolled, shuffled, staggered, etc.
Ran –jogged, skittered, hurried, dashed, galloped, loped, etc.
Cry – whimpered, sobbed, sniveled, bawled, wailed, blubbered, howled, etc.
Using the Edit>Find tool search the novel for the following words, and replace them with something stronger, or rewrite the sentence to omit the word.
Was/were- This is one of the weakest verbs at your disposal.
She was rather plump.
VS.
Her fully fleshed stomach and bust swayed each time she moved.
Seemed- This is a non-committal verb. It lets you sit on the fence without picking a side. I try to only use it when I need to avoid a POV violation.
He seemed old for his age.
VS.
He left no impression of innocence and irresponsibility characteristic of boys his age.
Began/Started- These are also non-committal verbs.
She started to cross the room.
VS.
She crossed the room. *
*Unless, she started to cross the room and then the floor falls out before she reaches the other side.
Knew- The POV implies that the character already knows .
She knew he hated her.
VS.
He hated her.
She knew he hated her.
VS.
He hated her.