Chronicle

My husband has been buzzing in my ear for the last few weeks that he wanted to see this.

Here’s the synopsis:

Three high school students make an incredible discovery, leading to their developing uncanny powers beyond their understanding. As they learn to control their abilities and use them to their advantage, their lives start to spin out of control, and their darker sides begin to take over.


I’ll do my best to leave out any major spoilers, but I almost think revealing the ending would be justifiable if it prevented even one person from spending money to go see this.

(I tend to exaggerate, but let’s just say that it’s never a good sign when you find yourself wanting the hero to fail and you haven’t even eaten past the butter drenched, top layer of popcorn.)  And to be fair, my husband did say he liked it. It's not bad enough to merit a one star review, but I can't get over how bored I felt while watching it.

The teaser you’ve just read is about all that you get plot-wise. I think the director was trying to do some sort of a inner conflict type character-journey-story, but it’s one of those things where if I had to write an essay about it for an English class, there’d be more B.S. than toner.

Walking out of the theater I was in a stupor, sort of like when I walked out of “Suckerpunch”. Except quality wise, Chronicle felt  like an amateur film festival project whereas Suckerpunch at least had visual appeal to make up for its plot deficiencies.

I turned to my husband and asked, “What was the point of watching that?” He has yet to provide me with any form of detailed answer regarding plot, characterization, graphics, or audio track to justify why he likes it. His reluctance to defend his opinion is something I don’t mind publicly calling “odd”.  Usually when he knows he’s right about something, he’ll be incredibly stubborn or insistent on proving his point.

And now, a bit of sarcasm: 

Three high school students make an incredible discovery,

'Incredible'? More like low-budget. Oooh, a dark scary hole in the ground. And everything is being shot in first person POV so there's more screen shots of the wall and ceiling than anything super-cool.

For the record: I think films shot through the first person POV are obnoxious. It’s like the director is just looking for an easy excuse to use cheap film and lousy camera angles. 

By the time the director got done setting up the back story for the hero's character journey, I was  hoping the discovery would be a bunch of aliens that would kill them instantly. When the screen went dark, I wouldn't have felt cheated if that had been the end of the movie.


leading to their developing uncanny powers beyond their understanding.

The most uncanny thing about this was why it never occurred to them to seek a medical review after the incident, or why they waited three weeks to return to the site of the “artifact” after they discovered they could do awesome things like levitate Legos.  Well, what do you know, the hole in the ground caved in. Guess that’s the end of that adventure.

As they learn to control their abilities and use them to their advantage,

Yes, telekinetically powering on a leaf blower to flip up girls’ skirts, and showing off in the school talent show, is exactly the sort of thing extra-terrestrial magic powers should be used for.  I did laugh a few times, but this wasn’t supposed to be a comedy.

their lives start to spin out of control, and their darker sides begin to take over.

In all fairness, only one of the characters had their life spin out of control, and that same character was the only one to have his dark side take over. If anyone can explain what drove the MC to go all Meyer Wolfsheim without a transition phase, I'd love to hear your interpretation.

Until then, I'm calling it weak script writing, and if I ever meet the producer, I'm taking his Phoenix University degree and beating him over the head with it.

Skinny Jeans

Over the Christmas break I read four books. (Yeah, I know that was last month.) Only one of them was actually on my “to read” list.

This is because when someone hands me a book and tells me it’s good and I should read it because I will love it, I feel obligated to put-off whatever I was about to read in order to see for myself.

Most of the time, the books are just "okay."

Now,  before everyone starts trolling me for being too harsh of a critic, ask yourself this:

Why yes, I am married to a NBA player.

Have you ever shopped for the following with a woman:

a)  swimsuit

b) evening dress

c) shoes
d) pants

Flat abs AND a flat chest.

I have high demands of the books I read, just like how I expect my swimming suit to give me the support of a bra with none of the padding. My shoes must make my feet look dainty but I have to be able to stand in them for at  least five hours. And an evening dress must transform me into a size two with an hourglass figure and cost under 160 dollars.

My first impression of a book’s jacket blurb rarely deviates from my opinion of a book by the time I finish it. In the following commercial, I relate most to the guy:

Yeah, he knew from the moment she held those pants up things weren’t looking pretty.

As for the most recent recommendation I've received... OBSIDIAN.

The hero is a "douchebag"--but that's easy enough for our heroine to ignore because he's got ripped abs, emerald green eyes, and poetic lips.

In clothing terms, I like to think of Daemon as a pair of skinny jeans. Sure they might look really good they look when paired with boots, but I personally refuse to spend money on something that makes my thighs look huge and which have to be peeled off at the end of the day.

 I am certainly not going to be someone to tell you that the book isn't worth reading or that anyone larger than a size 0 shouldn't be caught in these pants. I can only say that they're just not for me.

The "look" of skinny jeans VS. actual appearance of skinny jeans.

The Strange Case of Finley Jayne Review

 Goodreads: "I liked it"

Premise: Finley Jayne knows she's not 'normal'. Normal girls don't lose time, or have something inside them that makes them capable of remarkably violent things. Her behavior has already cost her one job, so when she's offered the lofty position of companion to Phoebe, a debutante recently engaged to Lord Vincent, she accepts, despite having no experience. Lord Vincent is a man of science with his automatons and inventions, but Finley is suspicious of his motives where Phoebe is concerned. She will do anything to protect her new friend, but what she discovers is even more monstrous than anything she could have imagined…—Amazon.com product description

Cover: Not a lot of effort went into this cover. An image of gears takes one repeat to fill the space. Where the two pictures are joined at the center, the image is smudged and shows all the signs of a lazy photoshop gaussian blur.

First Thoughts: It was free, and therefore I’m predisposed to like it. This was a very short read which I finished in an hour. I really enjoyed Lady Morton and Pheobe as characters. The story came around full circle and tied up all loose ends which is great for anyone who wants to dive right into The Girl in the Steel Corset. As for the whole story, aside from the obvious references to Dr. Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, I’m strongly reminded of Soulless by Gail Carriger.

Setting: The setting was very easy to picture although I did struggle with visualizing the characters. Plenty of mechanical creations tossed in, but I think the story could have existed even if they were removed, which means I’m inclined to label this gaslamp fantasy rather than traditional steampunk.

Characters: Characters who seem evil, are evil, but that is not something I will hold against a teaser book. I found Finley to be likeable and loved her internal dialogue with the darkness inside her.

Plot: The story is very predictable. Things become more interesting and the pace picks up with the introduction of Lord Vincent.

Romance: I expect The Girl in the Steel Corset will have more interactions between Finley and the (handsome duke?) character. Phoebe's boyfriend seemed extraneous.

Random Thoughts: The pacing reminds me more of an adult novel than YA.

The “normal girls don't lose time” pitch confused me since the only reference I could think that fits with the theme is that Finnley recovers from injuries at an abnormally fast rate.

In England, an eggplant is called an aubergine.

Final Comments: This is everything I could hope to expect from a free prequel, digital download. I am definitely interested in reading The Girl in the Steel Corset now, which in the grand scheme of things, is the only real thing that counts.

Divergent Review

Premise: 

In Divergent, society is divided into five factions. Each faction is dedicated to  the cultivation of a particular virtue that they feel the lack thereof, most contributed to the war that put the world into its dystopian state. The five factions are: Candor (honesty), Abnegation (selflessness), Dauntless (bravery), Amity (peace lovers) and Erudite (intelligence).

Once a year all sixteen-year-olds must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives. For Beatrice, this is a difficult decision as her aptitude test did not point to one faction specifically, but three, which classifies her as “Divergent.” 

Told to keep her divergence a secret, Beatrice struggles to decide where she fits in on decision day and in an expected turn of events, leaves the Abnegation faction she was born into, for Dauntless.

During the highly competitive, dangerous,  and nonsensical initiation that follows, Beatrice/Tris struggles to determine if she made the correct decision to abandon her family and heritage.

Not knowing who her real friends are, or if she can handle the romantic feelings she feels for her instructor, Tris soon learns she has bigger problems. It seems some key members in the Erudite faction are plotting to overthrow the seemingly perfect society, and they do not take kindly to people who are divergent.  Tris now carries the burden of knowing that her secret might save those she loves, or it might destroy her.

Cover: Has a nice complementary color scheme with the blue and orange. This was the only visual of Chicago/the setting that I had to go off of for the whole book. Thank goodness kindle included the cover image (sometimes it doesn’t) or I might have been visually lost.

First Thoughts:  I had recently read Matched by Ally Condie before this and thought the premise was very similar. Instead of boys, Beatrice must choose between factions.  In one line, I’d sum it up as Hunger Games meets Matched.  I expected to be disappointed with this book, and to find the dangerous initiation games depressing. Surprisingly, and for reasons hard to articulate, I enjoyed it  and even recommend it--with the condition that I do think it’s all recycled material.

Setting: I was confused about several aspects of the setting. I never really had a clear picture of the city, the underground Dauntless compound, or even the  train Tris is always jumping off of. I reinvented my visual imagery about the river and the deep chasm that all the Dauntless keep trying to throw each other into each time it was mentioned since I couldn't keep a clear picture of it.

Characters: I thought a plot revelation about one of the characters was far too predictable. I don’t think I fell in love with the hero or heroine in particular, and some of the antagonists fell into stereotyped roles—so bad to the extent they seemed cartoonish. Despite their shortcomings, they had their motivations in order, and so I was able to keep reading the story without it bothering me too much. There were a lot of descriptions repeated, and more characters were identified by the shape of their nose than any other facial feature. One annoyance in particular was that Tris’s main feature is that she is small. This fact was emphasized so many times I started to picture her as a hobbit.

Plot: Certainly not anything super original. The plot moved very slowly after the first five chapters and didn’t pick up again until the end. By that time, I’ll admit I was a little bored, but I was really invested in the external events and so I had to finish it. It was an interesting read, but wasn’t so suspenseful that I read it cover to cover in one sitting like I usually do. I’d put the book down for several hours, go do something else, and when it came down to a choice between mowing the lawn and reading a book, I’d pick it up again.  

Romance:

*SPOILER* sort of...

This book has a romantic subplot to it, and I’m just so glad this did not end the way The Hunger Games & Matched ended, or the way New Moon began.  However, I did feel the chemistry and relationship was a bit under developed. They have little interaction, and then suddenly she’s having nightmares about being intimate with him and they’re boyfriend and girlfriend at the end. I didn't think there were enough examples where he showed romantic interest in her to warrant their relationship. He looks out for her and takes care of her before, and he shares some of his personal secrets with her, but I never really felt the chemistry between them.  Of course, I didn’t really see why Peeta was attached to Katniss in THG either.

Random thoughts: In the opening line Beatrice is day dreaming about angels/people with wings. Roth brought God and religion into the book then did nothing productive with it. 

Having the initiates toughen up in less than a week or becoming ruthless killers in three weeks is unrealistic. 

The daredevil event where Tris glides down a zipline was full of suspense, though I don’t think it was relevant to the story or necessary to the plot.

I understand the significance of all the Dauntless faction members getting tattoos, but why facial piercings? It's just one more thing to get accidentally snagged on a piece of clothing while they're trying to win a nomination for The Darwin Awards.

Final comments: If you loved The Hunger Games, I'm sure you'll love this. Especially if you liked the slow pacing of Matched.

Independently, I’d give this a Goodreads’ “It was okay”  three star rating.  But, I am recommending it, which I don’t usually do for books that I just think are worth three stars. It reads like a debut author’s book (and it is) and debut authors are the ones who need the most support. So, half an extra star for my recommendation, and half a star out of pity makes this about four stars.